What goes through my head when I think of love.

Love scares me.
I really want it, but then again I don't.
I wonder if I'll ever find it, what if it doesn't want to be found?

Everyone says love is happiness.
I think cuddling up with a fuzzy blanket is happiness.
It's even better because it can't hurt me.
It can't lie to me, betray me, or leave me.

People always joke about becoming an old cat lady.
I've thought about it a lot, but minus the cats.(seriously though)
It scares me to think I'd be alone forever.
It scares me even more to trust someone.
In order to love, you need to trust.
I honestly don't think I can do that.
Because people are stupid, they don't think before the open their mouths.

Why would I even tell people about my problems anyways?
They don't really care about you.
It may seem like they do.
But we all learned to pretend when we were little.
They said it was imagination, and it was.
Then we grew older and it turned into a whole bunch of bullshit.

Sometimes I think about finding someone I can just marry.
I don't have to fully love them, but then I wont be alone.
But that might be more miserable then being alone.
I don't want to live a lie.
And I could never do that to someone.

I love kids.
I've thought about just adopting a bunch of kids.
But then I'd have to work and that's not fair to them.
Maybe I'll just move to another country and take care of kids.
Africa, India, England, maybe even stay in the U.S.

No matter what, it seems like my plans to fill loves place.
Would just screw everyone else over.

I don't know what love is.
I don't know if I want it, but without it, life just doesn't seem to work.
Maybe if I'm not looking for it, it'll find me.
One can hope.

I don't want to think about this anymore.
I'm in High School, you can only find "like" in High school.
Love doesn't exist in these long halls.
The years people refer to as the "glory years".
So for now....love, love is Pink.