Sit down I need to tell you something.

Have you ever been sat down and had someone tell you bad news? I have plenty of times, but this time was different this time it was something that only happens in movies. This doesn't happen in real life, but I'm not sleeping, you can even pinch me. I was waiting for my dad to wipe away his tears,  start laughing and tell me it was just a SICK joke. That never happened. I didn't cry for a while, because it was so far out there. It finally sunk in and now it's a constant flow of tears. I tried writing about it, thinking about it, but that just makes it worse. The more I try to understand it the sicker I get. It's not something I can just ignore though, it's not going to go away. No matter how loud I play my music, no matter how fast I run. It's still in my head, it's real life and you can't run away from life. I guess all I can do is sit in my room and cry for a couple hours, then wipe away my tears, fix my make up and keep living.

Outlook

out·look/ˈoutˌlo͝ok/

Noun:

A person's point of view or general attitude to life. A view.   I hear people complaining all the time about how bad their life is. It's like it's a competition. "Who can make their life sound the worst." What's the grand prize, you ask? I BIG, FAT nothing! That's right nothing. Be happy if your reading this because I just saved you from making your life miserable, to just get "the grand prize". I mean really all of us go through hard things, we all have people who die, people who leave us, we don't make the team we hoped for, etc. Our lifes are either good or bad depending on how we choose to look at things and deal with things. You have to learn to let go. For example I had a friend who's brother took his life. It was so sad and it was hard, she still misses him, but she had to moved on. The rest of her family didn't and you can see how something that happened four years ago is holding them back and making their lives miserable. My friend she is happy, successful and moving forward. It really is your choice whether you're going to be happy or miserable. I'm not saying you can prevent whether bad things happen to you or not,  because they are going to happen. Not just to you, but to everyone. You do have control on whether or not it's going to control the rest of your life. Remember this isn't a competition to see who's life is worse. If you want your life to suck, it will. If you really want to be happy, you will be. I know plenty of you will argue with me about this, but really think about it. Have you ever met somebody who seems to be THE happiest person alive? And you think to yourself how in the world is that possible? Then you get to know them and you hear all the hard things that have happened to them, thinking "your life should suck!" "Why are you so happy?" Like sometimes it bugs me, I mean absolutely drives me crazy. Because I'm sitting over here pissed off, hating the world and thinking how bad my life sucks for the stupidiest reason. And they actually have to right to be pissed off and hate the world, but they are happy. It's those people that make me realize, it is possible to be happy. Happiness doesn't just show up on some lucky person's door step. Happiness is a choice.

Just don't

 

Don't compare your weaknesses to someone's strengths.

It's like going into a wrestling match with someone five times your size.

It's pointless and you are going to lose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step one: Make a list of everything you don't like about yourself.

 

Step two: cross off everything that is physical.

 

Step three: Look at what is left, Can you change it? Do you even want to?

 

Step four: Start working on the things you want to change.

 

Step Five: Read through everything. Physical, the things you changed, the things you couldn't.

 

Step Six: Realize this is you.

 

Step Seven: Learn to Love everything on that list! Accept yourself for who you are, if you can't how do you expect other people to? 

 

 

Be Happy

You've been given the direct order to BE HAPPY! 

Be happy because you can.
Be happy because even though your family may be disfunctional, you have one.
Be happy because you're not wondering where your next meal is going to come from and if it will be a matter of hours or days.
Be happy because you go to a WORLD CLASS high school! Woo....I mean how many people do you think could say that with a smile on there face? okay maybe not many...yeah okay I take that one back.
Be happy because you are reading this, you can read. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but to someone who can't, it's something to smile about.
Be happy because you have a smile and your teeth aren't rotting out.
Be happy because you can go to school, some kids would give anything to take your place.
Be happy because you have two legs, you can run, jump, dance, leap for joy, or just go on a long walk to clear your head. (or on the beach with your lover, but seeing that I don't have one....it doesn't matter much to me)

Be happy that you have sadness and sorrow in your life, other wise when happy came along it wouldn't be something to celebrate.

Be happy while you can, because happiness wont always be there.

Be happy, because it could always be worse.


Just BE HAPPY!!! (:

A Temporary "Fix"

They say duct tape can fix anything. I have to disagree. I doesn't "fix" anything, it can put things back together...temporarily. Then the duct tape is going to break, then what? More duct tape? Just because it looks like it's fixed, doesn't mean it is. It's like people just because they smile doesn't mean they are happy. Just because they tell you they are okay, doesn't mean they are. Just because they have learned to hold themself together, doesn't mean there aren't about to explode.

 

Duct tape is a temporary fix that people use so they don't have to actually deal with the problem. Duct tape doesn't fix anything.

 

But it can muffle it.(temporary fix)

Where the @*#% am I?!

No right or left turn.



I thought it would be good to try something new, go on an adventure, but I lost my way


The leaves are falling
It's getting cold
Everything looks the same
Dead or in the process of dying
I'm alone
All alone
I can't go right
I can't go left
Do I go back
Which way is back

I feel like I'm in a cave
With darkness closing in on me
Trying to find the light
The light at the end of the tunnel
I don't think it's ever going to come
Does it even exist
If I stop now I'll never know
It's so dark I can feel it
I'm lost
I'm alone
There's no where to go




I took the Road Less Traveled,


Now I'm lost.

Dying Slowly and Living in the Meantime

My Head is pounding. I'm freezing and I'm sweating at the same time.
I want to curl in a ball, in a corner far away.
Away from everything, away from you, away from Life.
Instead I throw on a sweatshirt and a smile.

I drive the 4 minutes to school and yet I manage to be late everyday.
I go to class the teachers says my name.
Almost in a robotic way I reply "here".
I lied, I'm really not. I'm somewhere esle far, far away.
The place I long to be.

I look around me at all your smiling faces.
I wonder if you are actually happy or if you threw on a smile this morning too.

I wait for the noise that ends the hour and a half of BS I just sat through.
I walk mindlessly down the hall and somehow make it to my next class.
I walk in and realize I'm here.
The next hour and a half? I make it last as long as I can.
This Joyful place is sometimes refered to as Paris.
It somehow manages to turn my brain on, I'm human.
My Pen is my best friend and I get lost in a notebook.

I find myself dreading what comes next.
It's coming to an end, I have to leave.
The noise I loved not to long ago, I now hate.
It means I have to put my face back on.

I try hard to hold on to what I had.
But it doesn't last long.
I start walking down the hall the more people I see,
The more my face goes back on.

This isn't living!
What kind of a life is this?
A pretty crappy one if you ask me.
I'll share some news with you, that might change your life.
It's changing mine.....I think.
That up there? That is my life before I heard this news.

Okay here it is:
I look like I'm fine, so that must mean I am right?
No, no that's not right at all.

This world is SICK, I'm Sick.
Can't you see I'm dying, DYING.
Does that not mean anything to you?
No?
Well.....

Newsflash you're dying too.

The Game of Life

I never liked the game life, that's what life is, a game.

Look at their faces they are so happy.
That's not what Life looks like.

Have you ever played the game of Life?
It's not the most pleasant of things to play with.
Especially when your a kid.
Who wants to spin a wheel to see how far in Life your going to get?
Let's leave it up to chance.

When your little this game plans out your Life, your real life.

It's great when they give you a car and let you choose whether you want to pass up college or not. You're spinning all the right numbers, then you suddenly become so devastated when you find out your a plumber and your sister's a Superstar. When really your the one who obviously should be the superstar. Let's be real, I mean look at me. A plumber really?  You shake it off, keep going then you lose your house.

Once you get to this point you realize Life sucks! You throw fit, mess up the whole board and stomp off.



And that, that is the game of Life.